Time of the year...
the new year ushers in.. year of the ox. the joyous mood seem dampened this year. perhaps due to the bad economic sentiment. i wish it was just due to that. however, deep down inside, i do realise why things are different. his absence. he used to buzz abt with mum. from florists to groceries shopping. the heart wrenched as i recount the days spent together.
the flood gates somewhat were released on desk today. thank goodness everyone was away.
1 comment:
I recall vividly, that Sunday when my mum received a call that my gramp was breathing his last. We rushed down in a cab with my mum crying hysterically.. When we reached Changi Hosp, she ran faster than anyone of us yong ones. I heard a scream. He left us.. He loved me the most, but I couldnt cry before him. I went back to take my bio Os and Hist paper, dazed but keeping in my mind that its prob one of the last things in his mind he wished me well.
Years later, my mum and I still tear whenever we are at the the crematorium. But I ponder over what many people say "is filial piety ex-post?". No it isnt, its only human to be emotional, but the greatest comfort to give to those who have felt pain more than u, is to better yourself to let them know that they can leave it the same manner knowing you are good on your own.
Strength doesnt come from the people around you, nor your own character. It is not bestowed in an instance, cause people put pain and remorse to the back of the mind eventually, thats human nature. Its only when you find your way, getting bashed up or loved when you gradually gain it. If the ones who left you know you are that special girl who have learnt to treat departures ordinarily.. They'd be smiling wherever they are.
Leave the tears for happier times, he'd understand, I'm sure.
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