Back to the fav haunt..

Finally after many days of downpour, managed a nice semi long run at macritchie with shyan. Yak yak yak abt the cammie.. shall drag him and charles for a photo op soon. Noticed a new highway link from braddell road to lornie... think it zips me to destination way faster. shall give it a shot nxt time round. the last round of drive along that stretch of road was just about 1mth. Amazing how the infrastructure falls in place that quickly. Kudos to the workers who left their faraway land for this little red dot.

Today's buddy's bday. Happy Birthday!! Many well wishes to you!

i seriously need another pair of trainers..... shopping time?

Knowing what u don't want seems to contradict the theory of knowing what u want?

hmmmmm.....

Its almost 1 mth......

It feels like a long vacation away. We're still making adjustments.. Am looking fwd to the trip with mum and mich.. A getaway will be good. I guess we all need a break and some time away.

Miss you lots still.. i wish you were still around to take the flyer. Mum's bday was simple, mich's bday is upcoming. You'll always be close to our hearts...

Nothing hurts as much as losing you. Thanks so much for giving me the strength to hold all things together. I wish i did you proud and you read the letter.... my first and last to you.

Happy Birthday Mummy and Joey....

Twinnie's bday - Tuesday. Mummy's Bday - Today (14th Aug)

Things are kinda different this year...no whole cake for her bday. Guess we'll try to work something out nxt year. She's better. Work is gets a little hectic. But am glad all this buzz is taking the mind off....

National Day weekend..

Once again, the republic's Bday - 43rd. Happy Birthday!

The extend family of lims gathered at Marina Mandarin for an afternoon of tea. Felt a little weird initially without his presence. But i guess we'll have to slowly get used to it. Helps alot with my camera ard.. Crystelle was intrigued and that kinda helped lighten up everyone.

The crowds throng the grandstand by the bay for the parade, whilst we moved against the traffic. Am glad that we managed a 58th level view. Kudo's to Xiao-gu for the invite. Now i get to have an aerial view of the padang and the parade. The cammie came in real handy! Was kinda fun to play ard with different shooting modes and settings. Am glad i chose canon over sony.. hehe a few pals have lenses!

Took a walk by the river and esplande for more night shots. it feels nice to have a great camera around to capture memorable moments. And we walked....and walked....and walked........ a very long and interesting walk home indeed.... haha speaking of intepreting words literally....

4mill home...

the buddy mentioned that should fit the new cammie. Prob get the red one. perhaps i should name the cammie...hmmmm

Seeing things through different perspectives..

Trotted to peninsula plaza today over lunch time to grab the cammie. Wasn't too sure if i would be ripped off. But thought i'd give it a shot. The last time there with tim was a little more reassuring cos at least i had a camera-know how person ard. Guess i'd take the gamble this time round.

The purchase experience wasnt too bad. But the sales person did try very hard to sell me the sony Alpha 30? hmm i think tat must be the model. Hah. I can't even recall. Well i do like the live view and the lens.. but... just a gut feel that sony is trying very hard to catch up with the SLR mkt. Eventually settled for my 450D =)

Now, a brand new hobby to tackle.. am looking forward to it.. lets hope the pockets don't get burnt with the lenses in future.

Next...i need a camera bag. Perhaps a simple crumpler would do the trick.

Spending time together..

Been spending alot of post work time with mum and sis. Its interesting how i didn't used to realise the amount of free time i had after work. Am glad this is all apparent now. Dinner yesterday was simple at the food court near home.

Buy food, chomp food and ready to head home. Wanted so badly to pop by parisilk to grab my cammie. Alas, did not. Something heart wrenching struck last evening. It was the old lady cleaner at the food court. The fatigue on her face was painful to see. Mum asked if she could manage the bowls and plates. She muttered "yes i'm used to it...." Took a look at her wrinkled hands. Veins popped up obvious and there were scars - seemed fresh from a cut 2-3 days back. My heart wrenched. Wished she didnt have to take on that job.....

Will make sure mum doesnt go through such pain...no more...she had enough of them...

Snap shots one after another...

Decided to take a peek at his pictures once more.. Although it hurts so much still. I wish to face up to them.

He'll stay very close to our hearts...

Loving you always Daddy... Keep watch over us

Emptiness...

The feeling hits me once again. The drive felt slow. Wish i could speed up a little more. Visiting the mechanic, washing the car, inflating the tyres and all.. tasks that didnt used to be my forte are well presented in my face now.

The jog/walk at Bukit timah with tim helped regenerate some adrenalin. The past weeks just depleted my entire storage. Playing with lauren did help as well. Gives some hope and comfort. She's a bright girl. Love it when she practised her "doctor-ing" skills on everyone. Arms ached a little after carrying her about at the supermart. Guess i need to get back to more serious workout soon.

The drive back was quiet and surreal...yet still a sense of emptiness...

Day 8....

The 3 ladies decided to take a walk outside the neighbourhood. Finally back to civilisation. Not too sure if its a good thing. Perhaps. Strolled about raffles city with mum and mich. Dropped by Kuriya for dinner.

Thoughts of him came by once again. He loved that restaurant. We ordered his favourite food. However, sashimi was not dished out. Mum and i didn't have much appetite for sashimi. Perhaps we might just steer away from it for a while.

The pain has ebbed away slowly...very slowly..

i miss him ..

Day 6, He visited once more...

Never really believe such a phenomena exists. Now i do. Its the second encounter now. Wasn't a feeling of discomfort. Perhaps a feeling of intangibility. Wish that he could drop a msg or two...

The heart still feels very heavy. the several events have yet sunk in fully. really wish that time flies past faster...then again, it takes a while to heal.

Memories of You...

What used to be a daily routine has now become memories. it hurts badly. the week passed in a whirlwind. the series of events occurred without any possible pre-empt. just one after another, bulls-eye in my face. reaction time was short, decisions had to be made for the next occurrence. even as of it is now..i can't make any headway of how i feel inside. perhaps no words or sentences can ever describe this.

there's so much to tell how i feel.. just wish that the letter reached you. My first and last letter to you. Always missing and loving you.

Appreciate all the calls...and texts...

It feels like 4 years back...

the pain, helplessness and anxiety. its not fair. why does it have to turn out this way. its horrid to make us all go thru this once more. its not fair to mum especially.

i watched her from afar in the wee hours of the morning. the rotating lights seem somewhat familiar to some. not the best item to be associated with. many cringe at the thought of it. yet she has to experience it. the pain was just a torture.

the drive with mich was somewhat silent, just punctuated with moments of sniffles. rational. we had to be. we knew the wrenching feeling within. yet there was unsaid..agreed consensus.

the day passed slowly.. just had to wait for the knock off time. every other hour was just the beep on the cell phone for updates. i knew she couldnt say much. i just wanted to be strong for her.

alas, the moment of truth. i wasnt able to keep it in any longer. fled off in the cab... i shdn't have stayed in the office for that long...

all else is history.and now, what's ahead feels very intangible.

Another post rain run...

Finally caught up with joey for our run..it must have been ages. chatted abt her dive trip, gp's gf, ner's hubby, hana's bf..she was raving abt hw the couples looked so cute together. not forgetting our previous running buddy- loycie.. =) little claire must be close to one year old by now. yep now joey's grounded. hehe..literally.. so long to her jet setting life!

weather was perfect..but somewhat on the contrary in the room of PCs (aka office)

The graffiti was found...buried under more graffiti.. argghhhh shd have used a thicker pen.

Number 9......

Was very enjoyable. Had great insights on portfolio mgmt.. finally the tracking error, alphas and what nots are all falling in place. Today's run was therapeutic. Weather was fantastic. The clouds were lovely... wished i had my cammie along to snap a few pics. Ok shall try to find some time next weekend to drop by the park for some shots.

The teacher suggested higher level studies... i wonder if this shd be considered seriously.. hmmz.....

The jog took me past the same spot...

Was searching for it whilst on the way back..hmm am sure its still somewhere firmly engraved or doodled. Too much graffiti.
Then again..the 2 short phrases were graffiti too? cute graffiti perhaps.

Some thoughts hit me once more..when back to the very same spot- Esplanade- Theatres by the bay......

Post work run..

Yesterday was griping abt how the pukey feeling destroyed every single meal. Am glad all of that subsided today. The greek salad stayed in. Phew. Weather aint too great in the late arvo. Maybe it was fated for me to clock that somewhat 10km run. Interestingly, there wasnt much pain.

Maybe i should start on the races once more. Maybe...

A very interesting fact hit the wound once more. Perhaps.... it was a wrong decision made? Then again...there's no turning back.

Queesy...

I hate the feeling. almost wasted lunch after i got back to desk. the nicoise salad was that close to being regurgitated out. yucks..
feverish sensation was next. to think i wanted to slip out for a run tmr.. lets hope i can do so..

i hate this state of mind..simply irritating.